


Blocks to stumble over

by practically_a_puffin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Master and Apprentice - Claudia Gray
Genre: Gen, Jedi Training (Star Wars), Jedi Younglings (Star Wars), Loneliness, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Quinlan Vos Friendship, Obi-wan please sleep, Poor Obi-Wan Kenobi, Pre-Canon, Young Obi-Wan Kenobi, and how it started, be nice to obi-wan or he will not be nice to you, more bullying?, no happy ending, no violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-23 14:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30056943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/practically_a_puffin/pseuds/practically_a_puffin
Summary: Obi-wan Kenobi is the greatest Jedi of his generation.  He does not know that when he is twelve.Every Jedi has to take a test before they are allowed to become a padawan.  Impatient as he is, young Obi-wan decides to take his test before his other classmates, and perhaps before he is ready.  Between dealing with his emotions, new friends, and old enemies, Obi-wan is struggles to even keep up with the class, much less move ahead.  When he makes some important- though probably poor- academic decisions, he takes a new direction in life and discovers a whole new side of himself.Needless to say, nothing goes as planned.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Original Character(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi & Quinlan Vos, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Sneaking around

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to base the stuff about being a youngling/initiate off the books. Just so you know, though, secondary trials are something I completely made up.  
> This is a prequel of sorts to an earlier work of mine, Anakin is a pleasure to have in class. This one's a lot slower and less violent, but I hope you like it at least almost as much 😊 Anyway, you don’t need to have read it. maybe you should though…

“Secondary trials are coming soon."

Yoda nodded thoughtfully at Mace Windu's comment.

"Anyone in your crèche you think'll pass?"

"Uncertain, these things are," Yoda responded."Though, a few bright ones, perhaps so."

"How old are your students now?"Mace folded his arms.

"Twelve years, now.Thinking of taking one, are you?"

"Oh, no, I was just curious."

Yoda smiled."Of Obi-wan, you want to hear?”

"Not particularly."

"But want to tell of him, I do.Still advancing slowly, he is.”

Mace Windu sighed.“Others in his position have not fared so well.”

"Too old, he was not.Well, he is doing, considering all things."

"Hm.Do you think he'll pass the trials this year?"

Yoda looked down."No."

The topic of conversation changed, but the subject did not leave Yoda's mind.Obi-wan had come at age three, as had many students before him.But Master Windu was right; those younglings often had the worst fates.The last thing Yoda wanted was for little Obi-wan to be in any trouble.

When he returned to Tooka Clan’s crèche, Yoda smiled over the children.Obi-wan was always up first to meditate.Had he been causing more trouble, Yoda would have stopped him.But for now it was best to let the boy be.He would work out his own troubles.Yoda was sure of it.

Obi-wan stood up from his morning meditation and cracked his neck.He took a deep breath, then climbed back in bed.It wasn't time to be up yet, and if he was caught out of bed too early he ran the risk of being scolded.

Master Yoda flicked the light on not a minute after Obi-wan had tucked himself in.

"Good morning, younglings.Time to begin the day, it is.Wake up!"

Obi-wan was always the first awake.He sat up and gave a very convincing fake yawn, then grabbed his day robes and rushed to the refresher.He was dressed and on his meditation mat before any of his clan mates.

Across from Obi-wan, Jape plopped down on his mat groggily.Obi-wan flashed him a smile, which was returned weakly.Prie, at the other end of the room, looked equally exhausted.Obi-wan realized he should probably look a little tired or Master Yoda would realize he had been up early again.

"Awake are you, hm?"Yoda gripped his walking stick."Fall asleep during meditation, you should not.Jape, to the refresher you go.On your face, splash cold water."

Jape stumbled back into the refresher.To many, Master Yoda's speech bordered on unintelligible.These initiates, however, had spent the entirety of their lives with him and had learned to understand him from the beginning.Obi-wan still thought it was funny that a group of twelve year olds had better grammar than wise old Master Yoda, who was well in his eight hundreds.He had the good sense not to say so aloud, but it was still amusing.

Jape came back and plopped down on his mat rather ungracefully.He closed his eyes and let the Force overtake him.Obi-wan did the same.He slipped right back to the place he'd left off before.

Obi-wan didn't want to break the rules.It was just that they had gotten in his way.Their morning and in class meditation time was, well, too short.Only so many remedies existed.He could abandon his other studies, or give up some social time, but neither of those would do.He could have stayed up later, but a youngling was more likely to be caught staying up late as masters struggled to get their students to sleep.That left waking up earlier, so that was what Obi-wan did.

Meditation time ended all too soon, as always.Obi-wan stood, and trotted after his fellow initiates and Yoda, off to the training room.It was time for class.Master Yoda was Tooka Clan’s master, but he also taught many of their classes.Obi-wan had learned a lot from him, yet it never seemed to be enough.

"Your readings you have completed, yes?"

"Yes Master," they replied.

"Very good.Some questions for you, I have.Tell me, from what planet comes coaxium?"

Obi-wan didn't know this one.He whipped out his datapad and clicked through the readings furiously. He had of course read them, it was just these details sometimes slipped his mind.He should have read the paper more closely.

Luis answered."Kessel, and other mining worlds."

"Very good, child.And from mining worlds, what else comes?"

Obi-wan knew this one.His hand shot up."Spice, Master."

A thin smile crossed Yoda's face."Correct, you are, Obi-wan.And to where does the spice go?"

"Drugs."

Some of the other younglings snickered.Others gaped in horror at the mention of the forbidden substances.

"Yes, to drugs they go.What kind of drugs?"

"Hm."Obi-wan could name a few."Death sicks have some concentration, I think.Some people smoke spice, some inhale it.It gets cooked-"

"Obi-wan," Yoda interrupted."To these drugs, I was not referring."

Hesia raised her hand, and Yoda called on her."You were asking about medicinal drugs, Master."

"Yes, to these I thought.Though, to illegal drugs, spice also goes, hm?Mindful of both, a Jedi must be."

"Yes Master," they all said in unison.

Obi-wan desperately took notes the rest of the lesson, which was definitely not about illegal drugs.That would have been more interesting, and more relevant to a Jedi in his opinion, but mining and medicinal use of spice was okay too.He just couldn't wait to get to lightsaber practice.

Jape fell out of his handstand nimbly."Prie, where's Obi-wan?"

Prie shrugged as well as one could in a handstand."He did say he was coming, right?"

A that moment, their third friend came out into the courtyard.He shut the door behind him quietly, and dashed over to the others.After a nervous glance to the door, he flung himself into a handstand.

Jape folded his arms."What did you do, Obi-wan?"

Obi-wan grinned."Oh, nothing."

Just then, Master Piell burst out, covered in- nope.Jape had no idea what that was.It was white and stringy, and clung all over his pointy ears and mean glare.Seeing only three younglings practicing handstands, he disappeared back into the hall.

Obi-wan wobbled, and fell over.

"Okay," Jape said, "did you do something without us?"

Obi-wan shrugged."Sorry, I had to."

"What was it?" Prie giggled.

He sat up."Well, the Force led me to find a pack of fake spider webs.If you take a holocron without permission, all sort of masters chase after you.One of them is bound to run after you into a hall you already covered in spider webs.Or in this case, oh, perhaps five."

Prie gasped."Five masters?"

He put his hands behind his head."Five Jedi Knights are currently tangled in the hall.Though, Master Piell, it seems, has escaped, which would leave only four."

Jape and Prie giggled.That was just funny to think about.Obi-wan always had the best prank ideas.

"You should put the holocron back," Jape advised.

Obi-wan shook his head, and pulled out a small block of wood."I didn't actually take it, Iswitched it out with this, which I hid this in my robes like it was a holocron."

Jape took it, and turned it over in his hands.It was light, and sort of squishy."What is it?"

"Cork," Obi-wan answered.

Prie held up her hands, and Jape tossed it to her."Where did you get this?" she asked.

"I've always had it."

"Huh."She tossed it back to him."Did you do the biology homework yet?"

Jape groaned."Don't remind me.A whole paper just on mitochondria.I don’t think I can take it.”

"Mitochondria?"Obi-wan looked between them.

Jape sighed."Yup. The cellular respiration paper."

"The one we got this morning," Prie added.

Obi-wan swallowed.“Has that got to do with mitochondria?”

Jape nodded, and they moved on.Obi-wan didn't contribute much else to the conversation.

Obi-wan twirled and slashed his blade.His lightsaber firm in his hands, he moved through the more advanced sequence again.Secondary trials were coming up, and he planned on passing.That meant he needed to be perfect in form.Hopefully, his masters would overlook his other areas.

Secondary trials were unlike any other test a Jedi had to take, and in a few ways.First of all, they were supposed to be completely objective.Secondly, the purpose of secondaries was not to become an initiate or graduate, it was to prove you were able to handle yourself.The test would require Obi-wan to show that he was capable enough to go out with a master without getting killed.The Jedi didn’t want to send their children to their deaths, did they?But lastly, secondaries were meant to keep masters from choosing an apprentice too young.Initiates weren’t made to take the trial until they were sixteen, when they were sure to pass.But initiates like Obi-wan were allowed to try, and there was always a master willing to take a student young.

It was a simple equation: the sooner Obi-wan passed secondary trials, the sooner he became a padawan.He found himself impatient in that regard.There was so much ahead of him, so much to learn and do.Once he had a master, he would catch up to the others.Just being a padawan would be an improvement.Nothing could be worse than younglinghood, right?

Obi-wan worked his way back through his sequences.He had opted to come here, to the training room, rather than read in the library with Jape and Prie.They were still working on an assignment Obi-wan had given up on.Besides, he wanted some time alone.

The door swung open, and Obi-wan's plans for time alone were ruined.Worst of all, it was Hesia who strutted in.She smiled slyly.

"Hi, Obi-wan.Are you alone?"

Obi-wan resisted the urge to scowl."As always, Hesia," he replied cooly.

She drew her lightsaber."Practicing the sequence?"

"I was."

"Then let's practice."

She dove right into the set of moves, executing each perfectly.Obi-wan matched her every move, but there was something about the way Hesia moved that was different.It was perfect.They finished the sequence, and she flipped her dark, silky hair over her shoulder.

"Looks like you've almost got it."

"Have I now?"Obi-wan wished she would leave.Hesia always acted like she was better.The worst part?She was.Again, Obi-wan scanned her for imperfections.He found none.Not in her lightsaber form, not in her posture, not in anything noticeable.He rolled his eyes.

Hesia gave him a look, then drew her lightsaber.She worked her way through sequence after sequence, showing off.Obi-wan couldn't do anything except watch... or could he?

He plopped down on the floor against the wall.

"Elbows are a bit low," he commented, even though her elbows were fine.

She stopped, and put away her lightsaber."They were perfect height."

He shrugged."Not from my point of view."

She scowled."Let's see you do it then."

Obi-wan leapt up, and went straight into the sequence.He raised his elbows on purpose.

"Ha, your elbows are too high."

"How do you know?"

She scoffed."I paid attention in class."

"As did I.And I think the elbows ought to be here."

"Well, you're wrong."

"We went to the same class.One of us is remembering wrong, Hesia, and it isn't me."

She clicked her tongue."Oh, Obi-wan.We've been learning this for twelve years."

Now Obi-wan shut his mouth.He hadn't been learning for twelve years, he'd been learning for nine.Hesia knew that.She said that on purpose, because it bothered him.And she was right.It bothered him very much, so much that he left and went to the library.

Obi-wan jerked awake. It wasn't time to wake up, but he couldn't sleep any more.He sat on his meditation mat, but not even that felt right.So he crept out of the crèche, into the hall.As soon as he was out, he looked back.The cork block was in there, under his bed.Obi-wan took a deep breath, and called it with the Force.

There were still Jedi about.Some nocturnal species always roamed the hall at this hour.Some Jedi were awake late on projects, or had just returned from or were leaving for an assignment.Others still were like Obi-wan, and couldn't sleep.

None of them were initiates.Initiates weren't allowed out at this hour, so Obi-wan would have to sneak.

He made it down to his usual dojo, still gripping his cork.To his surprise, there was someone sleeping in there.Obi-wan looked at the kid with curiosity.He couldn't have been much older, though he was almost certainly another initiate.After all, he couldn't use this dojo if he was a padawan, and he didn’t have the proper haircut for that.And there was no way he was a knight.

Obi-wan didn't know this kid, but that wasn't enough to prevent a prank.He had fallen asleep in a common space.He was asking for it.

Silently, Obi-wan slipped into the closet and pulled out one of the creepy training dummies.He positioned it so that the sleeping kid would wake up and see only the face.Then, he grabbed a metal plate (it was unclear why those were in the training closet) and dropped it on the hard floor.The kid's eyes flew open.He saw the dummy and cried out.Then, he punched it, and the fake body flew all the way across the room.The kid jumped up, panting.He looked back and forth, before his gaze finally stopped on a small, red-haired youngling dying of laughter in the corner.

Obi-wan gathered himself enough to stand up straight.The kid just looked confused now.

"I'm sorry," Obi-wan managed, "but you were asking for it."

The kid looked back at the dummy, then to Obi-wan.“What?Is that your dummy?"

Obi-wan took a deep breath and tried not to smile."If you're asking if I put it there, yes.But technically, the dummy belongs to the Order.So it's _our_ dummy."

The kid just blinked, and sat back down.“You really scared me.”

"So I gathered."Obi-wan sat adjacent.

"What did you mean I was asking for it?"

Obi-wan shrugged."You're sleeping in a common space."

He looked around."Oh yeah.I guess I am.What time is it?"

"Mh, about 0200."

“Wow."The other youngling yawned."I'm Vos, by the way.Quinlan Vos."

"Quinlan, lovely to meet you."

"No, Vos.I go by Vos."

Obi-wan ignored him."I'm Obi-wan.Obi-wan Kenobi."

"Obiun?"

“No.Obi- _wan_."

Quinlan still looked a little dazed."Right.Well, we better get to bed before we get in trouble."

"Oh, you're no fun," Obi-wan complained.

Quinlan scowled.He clearly didn't like to be called no fun by a twelve year old."What are you doing here anyway?"

"Oh, you know," Obi-wan tossed the cork still in his hand.

"What's that?"Quinlan asked, spotting it.

Obi-wan drop-kicked the block."Cork."

Quinlan picked it up.“Cool.Where'd you get it?"

Obi-wan shrugged.That was always what people asked him about the block.

The older youngling looked it over, then tossed it back."You found it under your bed when you first got to the temple."

Obi-wan caught the block."I've never told anyone that."

"You didn't need to say it.I have a special Force power called psychometry.I can see the history of objects."Quinlan sounded immensely proud.

Obi-wan tossed the block up, then caught it behind his back."Mh."

"We should get to-"

"Want to practice forms?"Obi-wan asked suddenly.He didn't want to go back to bed.

Quinlan looked at the door."We probably shouldn't be out."

"Oh, are you scared of getting in trouble?"

His cheeks pinked."No, I just don't think we should break the rules.They're there for a reason.”

Obi-wan jumped up on the bench."They are, Quinlan.They're there to be broken."

"It's Vos."

"So you want to practice?Maybe spar?"

Quinlan shook his head."Initiates aren't allowed to spar without supervision."

Obi-wan jumped down, and set down the cork."No, goody-two shoes aren't allowed to spar.Younglings who want to pass their secondaries take all the practice they can get.You do want to pass, don’t you?Wouldn’t want to be twenty and still in the crèche.Or worse."

Quinlan gaped at the insult, but there was nothing he could do to prove Obi-wan wrong other than pull out his hilt and spar.

They practiced late into the night.

Yoda was disappointed.Once again, his favorite student was dozing in class.

Obi-wan worked harder than any of his peers.He stayed up later, woke up earlier, read more, and spent more time in the training room.Yet all that wasn't to get ahead, or prepare for secondaries.It was just to keep up.And Obi-wan still fell behind, and fell asleep in class.

"Obi-wan."Yoda banged his walking stick on the floor.

Obi-wan lifted his head slowly."I'm paying attention, Master."

Yoda sighed."Very well. Now, to the instructions, you have all listened.To the animals, we go."

His students were learning to connect to animals through the Force today.It wasn't a good day to be tired.

The younglings followed their master out and down the hall, to the pens.Yoda had brought in a variety of different animals for each to select from.

"To the one you are drawn to, you must go."

He watched each go to an animal.Michal went to the tooka, their clan mascot.Prie picked the Coruscanti warbler.Hesia knelt by the womprat, Jape by the frog, and so on until there was only the oboe fish left.Obi-wan watched his peers choose, then walked over timidly and stared through the glass.The fish floated idly in the water.

"Good, young ones," Yoda called."Now, to your new friend you must connect.To the Force, reach out, and to the creature.Through all living things, the Force flows.Find a connection, you will."

He sensed each of the students connecting deeper to the Force.The bonds between child and animal grew, and he sensed some of them find connection.Hesia connected to the womprat fastest.She opened her eyes and laughed as the it bounded and wiggled in its pen.

"Good, Hesia, good.The first turn, would you like?"

She smiled."Yes, Master."

With a wave of his hand, Yoda opened the pen.Under Hesia's direction, the womprat scampered around, performed a few tricks, and bounded back into the pen.Pauli and Alana congratulated her.

Master Yoda let the next student have a turn, then the next and the next.All the students had a turn, except Obi-wan.He was still just sitting by the tank, watching his fish float.Yoda was about to head over to help him when Hesia sat next to him.Yoda smiled.She was so good at stepping up to help her peers.

"Having trouble, Obi-wan?"

Obi-wan didn't look when Hesia knelt next to him.His gaze remained fixed on the oboe fish."I think he's sick."

She laughed softly."Sick?"

"His stomach hurts."

"Obi-wan, he's a fish."

"Fish get sick too."He put his palm on the glass.The fish swam lazily over to his fingers.

"He isn't sick, you just haven't connected properly.Tell him to do a trick."

Obi-wan jumped up suddenly."Master Yoda, Master Yoda!"

Master Yoda hobbled over, smiling."Obi-wan, what troubles have you?"

"Master, I think the fish is sick."

Yoda looked at the fish."Hm.Perhaps so.Send him to the ichthyologist, I will."

"His stomach hurts."

Yoda nodded patiently, and called a master to come have a look at the fish.Obi-wan was glad for a master who listened to him.Most people would pass off a fish being sick as youngling nonsense, but not Master Yoda.

"Come, Obi-wan, practice with another animal, you will."

Obi-wan slapped a piece of parchment down on the table of the dining hall.Prie and Jape looked up in surprise.

"I've got a plan," Obi-wan said."This'll be a good one, so long as we don't get sliced in half."

"What've you got now?"Prie leaned over and looked at the parchment.It was covered in scribbles and bad drawings.Obi-wan's handwriting was the worst.

He cleared his throat."I present to you, Operation Confetti."

"I like this plan already," Jape said, and pulled the paper over."What do we have to do?"

"And why would we get sliced in half?"Prie interjected.

"Not to worry, my friends, if we do this well we will all be in one piece.The plan is fairly simple.We access the ventilation shafts, and crawl to a couple key areas, here and here.”Obi-wan pointed to the paper, but neither of the others knew where he was talking about."We plant the confetti, then we leave the way we came.In the morning, the air cycles will come on, and many Jedi start their day with a colorful surprise."

Jape, who was typically, er, quality control, nodded."That sounds good.Harmless enough, but still funny."

Prie raised her eyebrows."I’m still stuck on the 'cut in half' part."

"Ah yes.Well, ventilation shafts do vent, and there are some high speed turbines we must be wary of.But if we can access the panels, we can shut them off."

"All the panels are locked," Jape protested.

"So we unlock them.I've been practicing slicing, and I think I can do it."

Prie nodded."Alright, Obi-wan.We're in.Your plans haven't failed us yet."

Later that afternoon, the padawans recovered Obi-wan's confetti stash he'd smuggled in.

"Where did you get all this?"Jape asked, struggling to carry a ten pound bag.

"The dumpster, behind a diner."

Prie almost dropped hers."Ew, that's gross."

"Whatever," Jape said, "it's worth it.This is gonna be the best prank ever, and no one will even know it was us.

The three mischief makers rounded the corner, and bumped into someone.Jape and Prie got ready to make excuses, but Obi-wan grinned.

"Quinlan, how nice to see you again."

The older boy slapped Obi-wan on the back, hard."Kenobi! What are you guys doing?"

Obi-wan's smile turned to a mischievous one."Oh, nothing."

Vos looked at the other two now."These your crèche mates?"

They all nodded.

"Nice.You need some help carrying these bags?"

Obi-wan nodded innocently."Thank you, Vos."

"No problem.”The older boy scooped two of them up and carried them to where Obi-wan led.Jape struggled behind with the other.

"Here it is."Obi-wan pulled off the grate to the vent and leapt up.Prie and Jape followed."Ay, Vos?Pass those up?"

Vos nodded, and handed up the three bags.He smiled, then scowled."Wait, what's in those bags?"

Obi-wan smiled back, and replaced the grate."Best not worry about it, Quinlan.Thank you again, you've made this all so much easier."

The younglings in the shaft grabbed the bags and scampered away.Behind them, they could hear Vos calling out.

"Hey!Kenobi!What are you doing?"

Breakfast in the Jedi temple suffered a sort of disruption the next day.Exactly as planned, clouds of confetti flowed from seemingly nowhere, and masters, padawans, and younglings alike were showered with papery bits from above.There was a layer across the floors of the main levels, and confetti even spewed out in the council room.

Three younglings in particular did not laugh at all.They played along with the confusion and picked the confetti out of their robes.Later that afternoon, they slipped away to the initiate dojo.Obi-wan closed the door, and his friends burst out laughing.

"Another good one," Prie said.Jape just nodded in agreement.

Obi-wan bowed dramatically, and swept some confetti off the training mat."Anyone want to practice?"

They exchanged a glance."We were gonna study for the bio test," Jape said."Come with us to the library?"

Obi-wan kicked at the floor, and bits of paper flew everywhere."I'd rather practice here."

"Okay," Prie said, "we'll catch up with you later."

They left, and Obi-wan sat down on the bench.He waited a minute, then peeked outside.Seeing no one, he shut and locked the door.A locked training room was the only private space a youngling could get.

“Hello?”

No one answered.

The initiate sighed.“Just me, as always.”

He sat on the floor, letting his thoughts overwhelm him.Choosing to take his secondary trial so young was a mistake, but he had to.Obi-wan knew he had to pass, and get his master.He couldn’t stand being alone any longer.

“Force help me,” he whispered, and let himself cry for a minute.

Obi-wan wiped his eyes and stood up.He let out a deep, angry sigh, and drew his lightsaber.

With each movement, each pose of the sequence, Obi-wan's anger flowed away.He concentrated on his actions, and the hum of his lightsaber, letting all the voices in his head drown out to nothingness.

When Obi-wan got back to the crèche, Yoda called him aside.

"Yes Master?”He wasn't in trouble for the prank, was he?

"Obi-wan, a special job for you, I have."

"Of course, Master."

"Your friend, the oboe fish.Quite sick, he is."

Obi-wan's chest tightened."Will he be okay?"

"Without proper attention, no.To the aquariums, you go.Take care of him until he recovers."

"Yes Master.”Obi-wan dashed to the aquarium.The blue lights from the tanks gave the room a mystical feel.

A Mon Calamari master appeared."Ah, you must be the youngling Master Yoda sent.Right this way."

Obi-wan followed the master to a tank where the fish floated by himself.

"I must thank you for spotting the disease," she said, "or the entire oboe fish population could have fallen ill."

"What does he have?"

"It is very difficult to diagnose such fish.I believe he is suffering from malnutrition."

"That sounds awful."

"Do you know what malnutrition is?"

"No."

She laughed."It's when he doesn't get the food or nutrients he needs to survive."

"The poor fish.But how can malnutrition be contagious?"

She smiled."It isn’t.But had it been something contagious, it could have been quite deadly."

"I see."

“Yes.Master Yoda assured me that you would want to look after him."

"I do."

“Wonderful.Just come here twice a day, and I will help you figure out what he needs."

When Vos showed up to the initiate's dojo, Obi-wan was lying on the floor.The block of cork rested on his chest, and he was reading from his datapad.

"What are you doing?”Vos asked.

Obi-wan glanced over."Reading about malnutrition in fish."

Vos sat down by him.“Oh.Why?"

"I met a fish, and he has malnutrition."

"Huh.Wanna practice forms instead?"

Obi-wan set down his reading and his block."Of course."

They practiced for quite a while.

Vos put his lightsaber away."So Obi-wan.About that confetti incident yesterday."

"What about it?"

"I know it was you and your friends."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I saw you carry the confetti!"

Obi-wan laughed."No, Quinlan.You _helped_ us carry the confetti.You're complicit."

"No, I don't want to get in trouble."

Obi-wan patted Vos's shoulder reassuringly."My friend, I never get in trouble.So long as you don't say anything, the culprits of this prank will remain a mystery."

Vos groaned."Why do you like breaking the rules?"

Obi-wan grinned."I don't like breaking rules.I don't try to, either.It's just, every so often, the rules sadly get in my way."

Hesia and Obi-wan were the only members of their crèche taking the Secondary trials that year.As such, it was just them two who privately met with Master Yoda.

“Here to discuss your secondaries, we are.Know you what secondaries are for?”

“Master,” Hesia said, “secondaries are a test that initiates must pass before they are chosen by a master or allowed to participate in a duel.”

“Yes, young one.To send out one who is not ready, a terrible mistake.Demonstrate your knowledge during initiate trials, you did.For potential, secondaries are not.Strict standards, there are.Many points must you pass.Difficult, yes.Certain are you, that want to face this challenge, you do?"

"Yes, Master," they both replied, Hesia before Obi-wan.

Yoda pressed his lips together."Very well.Allow you to take the tests, I will.But warn you, I do, most initiates do not pass when young as you they are.Yes, later, most pass."

"I'm ready, Master," Hesia assured him.

Yoda nodded."And Obi-wan.Ready, are you?"

"Well, Master, I guess we'll see."

Obi-wan crept silently through the empty halls.All the diurnal younglings were in bed.Well, all but one.

He placed his hand on the door to a different crèche and reached out to the Force.Yes, this was definitely where Vos was.He opened the door silently and slipped in.Obi-wan wrinkled his nose; the older younglings smelled funny.He looked around at the initiates sleeping soundly.Finally, he found his friend.

"Vos.Wake up."

Vos's eyes fluttered open, and he looked confused.Then he sat up, grabbed Obi-wan by the robes, and dragged him out into the hall.

"What are you doing here?"he hissed.

"Want to work on our sequences?"

Vos closed his eyes."Obi-wan, it's the middle of the night.We're not supposed to be out!Go back to bed, before we get in trouble."

Obi-wan shrugged.“Fine.But if you're not coming, there'll be no one to stop me from breaking into Master Windu's quarters next."

He backed away, then turned and walked silently down the corridor.After a moment, he sensed Vos come jogging after him.Obi-wan smiled with satisfaction.

"Why me," Vos muttered, "of all the younglings.Couldn't have been one from your own clan."

"None of them are trying to pass secondary trials."None of them Obi-wan wanted to talk to, anyway.

They made it to the training room, and began to practice their lightsaber moves.Obi-wan watched Vos perform a particularly difficult one.

"Can you show me that?"

Vos shook his head."This one's for older students.It'll be too hard."

Obi-wan scoffed."You think I can't handle failing?"

"Well... I guess I could show you part."

He went through the moves, and Obi-wan struggled along to copy.He did it on his own after, though not very well.

"Not too bad for first try," Vos said.

Obi-wan ignored him, and kept working on the sequence.He repeated moves over and over, until they were nothing less than perfect.

"What are you doing?"

"Practicing," Obi-wan answered without stopping."If I want to be perfect, I have to practice."

"First of all, you can't be perfect.Second, shouldn't you practice the sequences for your classes first?"

Obi-wan put away his lightsaber."I don't care about my classes.They don't matter, so long as I get a master who agrees with that.And I can be perfect if I keep practicing."

Vos still looked skeptical."Whatever you say, Kenobi."


	2. Slipping away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: curse words ahead (they are starred out)

Secondary trials began a week later.Obi-wan had found enough time to practice between caring for the fish and sitting through his classes.He'd focused mostly on lightsaber skill and philosophies rather than Force powers.Hopefully, his skill in those areas would make up for his struggle in Force abilities and mediocre grades.

There were always five or six other students in the lessons.Obi-wan counted twenty different ones overall, including Vos, Hesia, and himself.Master Yoda led many of the activities, alongside other Jedi Masters like Plo Koon and Yaddle.Obi-wan did his very best in every test and managed to pass most of them, though not with flying colors he'd admit.That was okay; there were plenty of masters who'd take on padawans with average marks.

He and Hesia sat outside Master Yoda's office after the trials were through.

"Do you think you passed?" she asked.

"I don't know," Obi-wan admitted."I think I passed all the tests, but I didn't do all that fantastic."

"Hm.I guess passing is passing, and you don't need perfect scores to get where you're going."

Obi-wan was a bit surprised at that comment.Hesia was the type to always do everything perfectly right away, not do only what she needed to in order to get by.That was how Obi-wan did things.At least, that was how he'd done them so far.

"I guess you're right.How did you do?"

She smiled."I think I did well.None of the sections were particularly difficult.For me."

And there it was.Apparently Hesia only held those standards to herself.Or maybe she just didn’t count Obi-wan in the same way.

Master Yoda called them in before Obi-wan got the chance to say something mean.He'd have to save it for later.

"Sit, younglings."

They both sat on the floor.Master Yoda's office was cream colored, and there was no furnishing other than a few meditation mats on the floor.Not even a desk.Where did Master Yoda write?Come to think of it, Obi-wan had never seen his master write before.He snapped back into the present.

"The results of your exams, I have."

They listened eagerly.Obi-wan could feel his stomach start to churn.This was the end of his time in the crèche.He could get a master now, someone to follow around and see the galaxy with.Someone to adore, who would patiently explain everything he didn’t understand.

Yoda closed his eyes, and the hope in Obi-wan's heart faded.

"Passed, neither of you have.Not ready were you.Still much to learn, you have."

Obi-wan slumped."I understand, Master."

He stood up to leave, and assumed Hesia would do the same.She did, though somewhat rigidly.Once they were into the hall, she turned on him.

"This is your fault."

“What?How is your not passing my fault?"

She looked like she was going to cry."Master Yoda only failed me because he didn't want you to fail alone!"

Obi-wan stared at her in disbelief."That's not true.Hesia, that doesn't even make sense."

"You're Yoda's favorite, we all know.”A tear escaped her eye, but she caught it quickly."I did so well.I was going to pass."

"Perhaps Master Yoda is trying to teach us something."

"No!He said you weren't ready.You knew you weren't ready, and you took the trials anyway.You ruined it for both of us."

Hesia rushed down the hall, leaving Obi-wan to his thoughts.He grabbed his cork block out of the crèche, then went to one of the lesser-used training rooms to kick it at the wall.

In all honesty, Obi-wan wasn't surprised he hadn't passed.After all, he was only twelve and behind in nearly every subject.It was still frustrating.He'd hoped Yoda would make an exception for his situation and let him go anyway, but maybe his master didn't understand him as well as he'd thought.

The next day, Hesia was still mad at Obi-wan.All their crèche mates knew they had failed, only because Yoda had said so.Hesia wasn't one to advertise her failures, and Obi-wan wasn't one to talk to his crèche mates.He hadn't even talked to Prie and Jape yet.

Actually, he hadn't even been back to the crèche yet, except to grab the cork.

He noticed Hesia was mad when he walked straight from the hall to Master Yoda's room.He didn't talk to her, but he could sense it.

"Obi-wan, come in.Sit."

Master Yoda greeted him warmly, as always.Obi-wan sat and folded his legs, cork still in hand.

"Master, I wanted to ask you.Why didn't I pass the trials?I thought I did decently on the tests."

“Hm.Decently?Decently, you think?"

"I did, but when you say it like that I'm not so sure."

Yoda chuckled."Decently, yes.But, perhaps not good enough is decently.A passing grade, you got.Mine was the decision to hold you back."

"I don't understand."Why would Yoda want him to fail if he'd passed?

"Still much to learn, I think, there is for you here."

"Of course," Obi-wan said quickly, "and I know I've always been behind in my studies, and I'm not particularly advanced for my age.But-" he stopped himself.It was inappropriate to argue with Yoda.

"But what, young one?"

"Master, I can't stand it here.In the crèche.I'm tired of the same classes every day, and the same people.I feel like I'm not moving forward, just tripping over the same blocks day after day."He held up the cork block to emphasize."I thought if I was a padawan, and had a master, things would be different.And I know I have a lot to learn, but I thought my master could teach me."

Yoda nodded thoughtfully."Understand this, I do.But still, not ready are you.More lessons remain.And learn them, you will, before become a padawan you do."

"What are they?"

"Hm. You will see."

Obi-wan took that as his dismissal, and headed back out into the crèche.He slumped on his bed and tossed the block in the air.Eventually, Prie and Jape came to talk to him.

"We heard what happened," Prie said."Sorry you didn't pass."

Obi-wan nodded."It's the will of the Force, I'm sure.”Or the will of Master Yoda. He was beginning to wonder how and when they differed in this crèche.

Jape rocked on his toes."Well, we were thinking, we know exactly how to cheer you up."

Obi-wan set the block down."How?"

Prie bit her lip."Let's pull the biggest prank the Jedi have ever seen."

"Did you have something in mind?"

Jape lowered his tone."Actually, we did."

"Go on."

"The kitchens just got a new shipment of thye flour.We were thinking, what if what we did what we did with the confetti, but with flour?And more widespread."

Obi-wan shrugged."Seems a bit repetitive."Plus, that was wasting food, and making a much bigger mess that was way harder to clean up.It was too much.

Then again, Obi-wan was kind of mad, and at one master in particular.

"That's a good start, though I have a better idea."

"Master Yoda has a house?"

Obi-wan nodded, and took a bite of his lunch.The dining hall was mostly empty.Perfect time to talk business."Out in the city."

"But why?"Prie asked again."He's a Jedi.Jedi live in the temple."

"Perhaps he uses it for things the temple just won't work for."

Jape shrugged."Let's just hear the rest of the plan."

Obi-wan folded his hands."First, I think you should understand.This is something we could really get in trouble for.Not like our usual pranks.This one is targeted and destructive.If you don't want to participate, you're welcome to back out.There's no shame."

Jape looked at Prie, and she nodded."We're in," he said."Your plans haven't failed us yet."

"Excellent.Now, we just need the thye flour and a few other tools."

"And a way to get out of the temple," Prie pointed out.Then she sighed."You already have one, don't you?"

He smiled."Of course, Prie."

"Do we know how to get to Master Yoda's house?Forget that, do we know where it is? Or that it even exists?"Jape stirred his food absent minded.

"When do I make a plan that incorporates an element I'm not certain of?”

Prie folded her arms."You've been there before, haven't you?"

"Once," Obi-wan admitted.

"Ugh, you're his favorite!"

"Master Yoda is as impartial as possible," Obi-wan protested jokingly, "he just can't help but love me most."

They all laughed.

The three younglings snuck out of the temple that night with no trouble.Master Yoda had slept in his room in the crèche, so they knew he wouldn't be at the house.Obi-wan remembered well enough how to get there, so they made it with no trouble.The set up wasn't too difficult, and soon they were back to the temple with nothing but a few armfuls of empty sacks.They slipped back through Obi-wan's secret passage, and tip toed through the halls.

"Obi-wan."

The three troublemakers froze and turned around.Obi-wan smiled at his friend. "Quinlan!You're up late.You know, for you."

Vos chuckled quietly."I fell asleep in the training room again.So, how'd your trials go?We get to duel each other?"

"No."Obi-wan's gaze fell to the floor, and Vos's fell to the sacks in his arms, and his companions.

"What are you guys doing?"

Obi-wan recovered his expression."Initiates with their secondaries have much bigger things to worry about.Go find a master or something."

He patted Vos on the shoulder, then led his friends back to the kitchen.They dumped their sacks, brushed any thye flour from their robes, and slipped back into bed leaving their masters none the wiser.

The next afternoon was sunny.Rather than have their secret meeting in the temple, Master Yoda, Master Windu, and Master Dooku assembled in Yoda's private residence.

As they approached the doorstep, all three sensed a disturbance.Lightsabers in hand, they entered cautiously.None of them, for all their wisdom, foresaw what was about to happen.The three paced around the house, trying to sense who had been there.When Mace Windu opened the door to the kitchen, the trap was triggered.The fire sprinklers went off, and soaked all three masters to the bone.

Next, the vents opened up.Fifteen bags worth of thye flour dumped out, coating the air and every available surface.Through the goo that was now forming, the other two could see Dooku's frown.What they could not see was who the culprit might be.

"I think we should meet another time," Mace suggested, and wiped goop from his eyelids.

Dooku coughed a bit of flower.Yoda nodded in agreement.

News of the incident spread throughout the order.All anyone really knew was that their masters were covered in goop, and it had something to do with the missing thye flour.No, no one knew who the culprits were except them and one other.

"Do you think that kid'll tell?"Jape asked worriedly the next day, when they were starting to realize the seriousness of their crime.

Obi-wan shook his head."Vos likes to stick to the rules, but he's no snitch."

"Are you sure?"Prie looked around, as if expecting Vos to pop out of the wall.

"Relax, Prie, I'm pretty sure."

They had been walking through the hall, and now turned into the crèche.It was a rare rainy day that day, and on those days everything just felt different.Master Yoda would light a fire in the crèche fireplace.Younglings huddled around to do their homework.The rain didn't make it particularly colder, it was just unusual to have a fire.They couldn't go outside, either, for Yoda’s irrational fear of one of his kids catching cold.

Master Yoda called them into his office as soon as they got back.The three of them together could only mean one thing.Obi-wan balled his fists.The little snitch!

"Sit, younglings."Yoda sighed, the way he did when he was disappointed."Admit your wrongdoing, I will not make you.Already have substantial evidence, I do."

"Sorry," Prie and Jape muttered.Obi-wan didn't say anything.

Yoda nodded."Let you pull these pranks, I have.Yes, for many years, seen, have I.But too far have you gone.Time to stop, it is.Understand, do you?"

"Yes, Master."

Again, Obi-wan said nothing.

"Go, you may."

Prie and Jape left, but Yoda kept Obi-wan."About the trials, is this?"

"No, Master,"Obi-wan lied.Could he convince Yoda he didn't do it?Unlikely.He'd have to find another way to worm out of trouble.

Yoda sighed."Act out of anger, a Jedi should not.Control these feelings, we must.Yes?"

"Yes, Master."Obi-wan knew it was wrong.He knew this anger got to him sometimes.But he didn't think he was out of control.Everything he'd done, he'd done intentionally.Maybe that was what Master Yoda meant.

"Go, you may."

"I'm not in trouble?"

Yoda chuckled."Know your mistake, you do."

Obi-wan went out into the crèche.He sat on his bed and grabbed his homework, intending to do some.The other younglings were sitting by the fire.Even Prie and Jape were there.

Obi-wan fiddled with his block as he worked.They were supposed to have mastered deriving trig functions by now, but he was still struggling to _understand_ trig.All the masters just moved on so quickly.Obi-wan couldn't help but feel that if he was a padawan, he wouldn't be behind because his master would teach him at his own pace.

"Obi-wan."

He looked up.Hesia was standing in the crowd of younglings, a cruel light in her eye.

"What's that?"

He waved the datapad."My homework.Want to copy?"It was a joke, of course.Hesia was great at trig.

"I mean that box."

"Oh."Obi-wan held up his block."My block."

"Where did you get it?"

He shrugged."Found it."

"And you held onto it?"

Hesitantly, he replied, "yeah?"

She shook her head."Oh, Obi-wan.Jedi aren't supposed to hold on to possessions."

"Why not?It's just a stupid block of cork."

"You're attached," she argued."You can't have things because you'll get attached."

He scowled. This was ridiculous."I'm not attached."

"Prove it."

Hesia pointed to the fire.It flickered and flared, as if warning of the danger it posed.The block was heavy in Obi-wan's hand, despite being made of cork.He gulped.Hesia was right.Jedi don't hold on to possessions, and if they do then they must be willing and able to let go.

He stood up.There was a part of him that wanted to scream and run away, to hide the block in safety.It was the only thing he had besides his lightsaber, and he'd had it as long as he'd slept in his bed.

Slowly, Obi-wan walked over to the fire.He could still remember being lonely at night, and slipping the cork out from under his bed.It was just a piece of wood, but it had always been there for him.It had comforted him without words or actions.Simply having it, holding it to his chest, made him feel better.

On the step of the hearth, he stopped.Hesia's gaze burrowed into him, and he could also feel the other younglings watching.One last time, Obi-wan examined the block.It was in good condition, as he'd made sure to take care of it.The only signs of damage were the dented corners from countless times of being kicked and tossed.Again, he thought about running, or pleading with Hesia.Instead, he held it out over the hungry flames and let go.

Instantly, Obi-wan regretted it.The block caught fire immediately.The other younglings lost interest, and ran to play in the indoor ball courts.Hesia stayed a moment.

"You did the right thing, Obi-wan."

Then she too left.

Obi-wan thought about pulling out what was left of the block.The charred and shriveled face stared at him, begging to be saved.But Hesia was right, wasn't she?

It didn't matter.Obi-wan grabbed the metal tongs and fished the block out of the fire.He picked it up with the Force and patted out the flames with his cloak.Then, he ran.

Obi-wan snuck around the temple so much, he thought he might know it better than almost anyone.That meant he knew the perfect hiding spot for a charred piece of wood.He lifted the base of one of the statues in the lower levels, using the Force to stabilize it.Then he slipped the cork into the small space.It would be safe there.

Safer than it was with him, apparently.

Obi-wan sat and watched the oboe fish, feeling stupid.Of all the ridiculous things to do, he'd pranked Master Yoda.Then he'd saved a burnt piece of wood.So stupid.There was no practicality to that.It wasn't even usable anymore, and it just proved that he was attached.

The fish didn't do much these days.It never had, but it did even less now.Obi-wan didn't think it was getting better, even though he gave it all the right medicine at all the right times.He hadn't done something wrong, had he?Suddenly he was unsure.

The fish stared at Obi-wan, eyes glazed.

"Master," the initiate called.

The Mon Calamari- Obi-wan forgot her name- came over."Yes? Oh…"

"What?"Obi-wan protested as the master put her hand over his eyes and led him away.

"Oh, little one.Go back to your clan."

He felt the sting of tears in his eyes."What?"

"Our little friend is gone, I think."

He sniffed."Okay."

Obi-wan went to his favorite training room.Was this to be his destiny, to destroy everything he touched?He spent the afternoon sobbing through his thoughts and lightsaber practice.

The next day, Obi-wan ran into Vos in the hall.He had planned a reaction, but kind of wanted to throw it out and improvise.

"Hey, Obi-wan."

Obi-wan ignored him, and walked past.

"Hey," Vos called."Are you mad at me?"

He turned around and smiled."Yes, Quinlan.I'm upset you ratted me out."

Vos walked up to him."I did what I was supposed to.You're the one who broke the rules.Last time it wasn't serious so I let it go, but Master Windu and Master Dooku were super upset."

Obi-wan stared up at Vos."I was upset."

"You're not a Jedi Master."

"Then my feelings are worth less.Logical."

Vos sighed."That's not what I meant.I meant you don't make the rules."

"Vos, I don't care about rules."

Vos shook his finger."That's the problem!You complain about not passing secondaries, then you go and do stupid and immature things.It's no wonder they didn't pass you.You have no self control."

Obi-wan snapped.“F*** you, Quinlan."

Vos looked shocked.Younglings weren't supposed to know swear words.Of course they did, but they weren't supposed to use them.

Obi-wan nodded and said it again."F*** you."

He stared Vos down one last time, then swept away.

Obi-wan blinked hard, and took a drink of cold water.He'd convinced Master Yoda to let him study in the library late for his math test the next day, and intended to make good use of the time.Falling asleep would certainly be a waste.

He flipped through the holocron.The waves the functions made were starting to get to him, like waves in a sea, or dunes of sand.He blinked again and looked away.

"Was there something you needed?"

Obi-wan realized he'd been staring off into space when Madame Jocasta came up beside him."No, Master.I was just distracted."

She looked at what he was reading."Ah, maths.I was never one for those, either."

Obi-wan liked math fine, it was just difficult."Yes, Master."

She smiled."When I can't focus on my readings, do you know what I do?"

"What?"

"I read something else."She chuckled as if that was the funniest thing she could have said.

Obi-wan nodded and smiled, wanting her to go away so he could get back to work.

"You know what, I have some recommendations for you."

She left, then came back ten minutes later with ten holobooks.Obi-wan stared at them.There was no way he could read all of those, and many looked far beyond his skill level.She knew he was twelve, right?

"Thank you, Master."

She smiled."I know younglings are usually only allowed to take one holobook to the crèche at a time, but you can take these if you like.Master Yoda mentioned you were having difficulties in your studies.In my experience, the only remedy to that is to study more."

Without another word, she vanished amongst the bookshelves.

Obi-wan stared at the stack.He already studied three hours a day outside his classes, how much more reading could he get in?But Master Yoda's voice, and Vos's and Hesia's, stuck in his head.He was behind.He wasn't serious, and he wasn't ready to be a Jedi.

Obi-wan picked up a book and opened it.It was on the ancient history of the Jedi, with more details than could possibly be important.He decided then: if he was going to be a Jedi, he would be the best Jedi of his time.Everyone's doubts about him, their misgivings, would be washed away.He would pass secondary trials next year.He was sure of it.After that, he would get a master, then pass the trials, take a padawan of his own, and sit on the council.

All of this, Obi-wan knew for certain.It wasn't something he could see or feel.He knew because he would not stop reading, practicing, or fighting until he did.He would be the best.Well, perhaps the fourth best.Beating the three Masters of the council was a little too ambitious.But that would mean letting go of certain things.Obi-wan would have to stop pulling pranks, but he didn't plan on having time for that foolishness anyway.He would have to let go of cork blocks and charred remains.And he would have to forget about finding a best friend.


	3. Falling apart

Three weeks into his "intense study", Obi-wan realized he would also have to give up sleep.In addition to trying to pass his classes with the highest marks, he was now also trying to read on five different subjects and understand writings far above his reading skills.He could do it, but it took time he didn't have.

With perfect timing, Master Yoda gave them a lesson on a method of meditation to help replace lost sleep.Obi-wan had gotten it immediately, even before Hesia.Maybe it was because he was so tired.Maybe it was because he'd been studying extra.

Either way, he now had no need for sleep.He just laid in bed until Yoda left, then slipped under the bed and did his studying.When he finished, he sat on his meditation mat for a few hours and made up for his losses.In the morning, he meditated until it was time to get up, crawled back in bed, then got up and did more meditation.

After a month and a half, it became apparent he couldn't do that anymore.He was just too tired.

Obi-wan lay down on the bench in his usual training room, doing a breathing exercise.

"Okay," he said to himself."I lasted three weeks on no sleep, then, say, six weeks with only meditative rest.So I can do one third no sleep, and two thirds meditative rest before I break.Perfect. I'll alternate one day meditative rest, one no sleep, one meditative rest, one a full night's sleep."

He sat up and scribbled the plan down, then jumped to his feet.Luckily, intense study hadn't meant cutting back lightsaber practice time.If anything, it had meant more.There was no use reading on lightsaber techniques and not trying them.Still, Obi-wan didn't teach himself the other five forms of combat.He wanted to learn those from his master when he was a padawan.

The door opened just as Obi-wan was finishing up and about to head to the library, and Prie and Jape came in.

"Obi-wan!"Prie smiled."We didn't realize you were here."

Obi-wan smiled and went to leave.

Jape sighed."It's too bad we can't pull any more pranks.They'd definitely know it was us."

"Yeah," Prie agreed."Oh, Obi-wan, did you ever find out how they knew it was us?"

He nodded."Vos snitched."

Jape shook his head."Some kids just can't keep their nose in their own business."

Prie looked concerned."Where are you going?"

Obi-wan clutched his book."To the library.I was going to study."

The other two younglings exchanged a glance."We wanted to talk to you about that," Prie said.

Jape nodded."You've been spending a lot of time studying.Not that that's bad, it's just, well, unlike you."

Prie nodded."And you've been very serious, and kind of acting different.We were just wondering if you were okay."

The answer was no.Obi-wan was feeling exhausted and imbalanced.But that wasn't something he wanted to discuss with Prie and Jape.

"Oh, I'm fine.I've just been thinking I should study more if I want to do well on my secondaries next time around.If you'll excuse me."

He left, even though he hadn't really satisfied them.On the way to the library, he contemplated what they'd said.They were right; he was acting different.But maybe that wasn't bad.Maybe this was a new Obi-wan, a smart Obi-wan who liked to read and follow the rules.

Then again, maybe not.Obi-wan didn't want to end up like Hesia.There was nothing particularly wrong with her, as far as he could see, but he didn't want to be like her.

He resolved that this Obi-wan was smart and liked to read, but still didn't bother with the rules.Maybe he didn't dump goop on his masters, but maybe he stole holocrons and snuck to the aquatic levels at night.That was a good compromise, so long as he never again got caught.

The weather was warming, and the rainy days were long behind the Jedi temple.All Obi-wan's sixteen week classes had ended, and new ones were beginning.The one he most looked forward to was flight class.It just sounded so fun.

He'd hoped they would be taking it from Master Plo, but the Jedi Master was out on an assignment and wouldn't be back until long after the class was over.Master Plo tended to teach the classes for padawans anyway, and this class was strictly initiates only.

Master Yoda also signed them up for physics, forensics, and galactic history.These were all new subjects to Tooka Clan, and they would be taken in addition to regular classes.At age thirteen, an initiate's education picked up and they began to take more difficult classes in preparation for padawanhood.That was part of the reason Obi-wan had wanted to pass secondaries and get a master so much.He didn't want to struggle through even harder classes.

It didn't matter now.Obi-wan was still struggling, but not to keep from falling behind.Now he was struggling to keep ahead, to always push forward, and to know the material of each class before he got there.Studying on his own in the library was much easier, since he could go at his own pace.Obi-wan knew he was a slow learner.Now he realized the best way to combat that was to take more time.

And take time he did.Obi-wan started counting his time in the library and under his bed.By midterms, he had spent 459 hours reading, if you included what he did for his regular homework.Obi-wan calculated that was about eight hours per day.Of course, some days he did less and some days he did more.But it was still a lot of time.Obi-wan should have been proud of himself.Instead he felt like he should have been studying so hard his entire life.Maybe then he would have kept up with the class.

After midterms, though, Obi-wan couldn't help but feel a little satisfaction.

"Welcome, younglings," Master Yu said one class, after the exam, "have a seat and we will go over your physics midterms."

The students all sat.Obi-wan always sat in the back.It used to be so he could fool around.Now it was so he could do other work.

"We had, er, a variety of scores on the midterm," she went on."The average was 59 percent.That's not nearly as high as I would have liked.But enough of that.The good news is that we have a perfect score.As the perfect score, this is also the highest score in the class."

Hesia flipped her hair.She was always the high score, and if there was anyone who got the perfect score it would be her.

“Obi-wan," Master Yu announced."Congratulations."

Everyone turned and looked at him, except Hesia, but they said nothing.Obi-wan had never gotten perfect score.He had always gotten just barely passing.Now the whole class was staring at him because he'd beat them on a test.

Eventually the class moved on.Obi-wan panicked.He hadn't meant to draw attention, only to be a better Jedi!But what was there to do?He couldn't very well get worse, and he didn't want to.He would just have to get used to being the center of the room.

It wasn't like he fit in anyway.

"Congrats, Obi-wan!"Prie punched him in the arm after class."I guess those extra reading hours really paid off."

Obi-wan nodded.

"So," Jape said, "you wanna catch us for lightsaber practice today?We haven't hung out in ages!"

Prie lowered her voice."Wish we could pull a prank."

Jape laughed."So how about it, Obi-wan?"

He nodded. Lightsaber training was on his to do list today; there was no reason not to combine it with social time."Yes, let's do that."

The three stopped by the crèche, intending to only stay a minute.They were distracted by a new sign on the wall with each of their names plastered to it.

"Master Yoda," Prie asked, "what's this?"

Yoda came over.A bunch of younglings crowded around."Ah yes, our new friend this board is, hm?Begun, your true education has.After exams, a mid term grade you received.Show on this board, we will, who is doing best, and who may need help."

He pointed with his walking stick.Hesia's name was on top.Jape's was on bottom.Obi-wan saw his own in the upper middle.

He raised his hand."Master Yoda, why?"

Yoda chuckled."To be aware of where stand your classmates."

Obi-wan still didn't get it.It seemed mean to tell everyone everyone's grades; Jape certainly seemed embarrassed to be at the bottom.

"It's fine," Prie comforted him later, in the training room."You'll move up.These are just after midterm.Those are always rough."

He kicked the punching bag and sent it flying.They'd opted to practice their boxing instead of lightsaber skills.

"I know, but still.I don't like being there even if it's just for a day."

She licked her lips."Jape, just don't worry about it.It'll change."

"No."

They both looked over at Obi-wan, who was lounging on the bench reading.He had time for lightsaber practice, not boxing.But he could read astrophysics and still listen.

"Jape will move up, but then someone else will move down.That chart's got to go."

"What do you mean?"Prie tilted her head."If this is, like, a tradition, we can't just throw it out."

"Why not?If it's stupid and unjust, isn't it our responsibility?"

Jape nodded."I like how you think.Let's get rid of the stupid and unjust sign."

Prie sighed."I guess I've got to go in too."

"You can sit this one out so long as you don't tattle," Obi-wan offered.

"No, I'm in."

Obi-wan flipped through his philosophy reading for the day, bored.He should have been coming up with a plan to get rid of the sign, but something was distracting him, pulling at the back of his mind.He set the holobook down and grabbed another one.As Madame Jocasta said, when struggling with one book, read another.

Vos appeared before Obi-wan could much get into the content.He approached hesitantly, probably wondering if Obi-wan would cuss him out again.

Obi-wan could still act mad at Vos.Or, he could let go and move on.That seemed like the better option, so he invited Vos to sit.After all, what was the sense in staying mad?

"What are you doing?"Vos asked.His long braid flopped on his shoulder, giving away that he was a padawan now.Obi-wan didn't care to ask who his master was.

"Studying."

"Studying?"

"Yes, that's what I said.How's being a padawan?"

Vos shrugged."It's good.I went to Alderaan."

"Wow," Obi-wan mumbled.Alderaan was his favorite planet.He'd never been, but from what he knew it was his favorite.

"Yeah," Vos continued."It's a lot of work though.My master expects a lot more than my crèche master did."

"Mh."

A Jedi Knight appeared at the entrance to the library, and Vos jumped up."Gotta go.See you later!"

He snatched a book from the nearest shelf and dashed off.Obi-wan shook his head and went back to reading.

They didn't really need a complicated plan.Master Yoda didn't sleep in the crèche that night, so all Prie, Jape, and Obi-wan had to do was carry the sign out.Obi-wan woke the others, and they got to work.

"What are you doing?"

They all whipped around at the sound of Hesia's whisper.She folded her arms.

"None of your business, Hesia," Jape said.

She wrinkled her nose."You're not messing with the rankings, are you?Master Yoda will notice."

Prie rolled her eyes."What, are you worried we'll knock you down?"

Hesia smiled."No, I'm just worried you'll get in trouble when he finds out it was you three again."

Prie and Jape looked uncertain now.Obi-wan put a hand over his mouth thoughtfully, to hide his disappointed expression.Hesia would rat them out.They were already on thin ice from the big prank.

"We were just having a look," Obi-wan declared.Hesitantly, Prie and Jape climbed back into bed.Obi-wan did the same, but not before casting Hesia one of those _this isn't over_ looks.She watched them tuck in, then went back to bed herself.

They were forced to endure the sign for the rest of the term.Eventually, Jape moved up a place or two.There was some shifting as classes progressed.Obi-wan's name slowly moved up.He thought he might make it to second place by the end of the semester, with Hesia in first as always.He was wrong.

Prie grabbed Obi-wan's arm and pointed to the board.It was only a few days after finals, and everyone had been anticipating their final grades.He looked, then took a step forward.His name was at the very top.Obi-wan was in first place.Hesia was in second.

And she was nowhere to be seen.

Obi-wan followed his senses to the aquatic levels.He walked down a long hall, then took a turn away from the enormous tanks that spanned at least five stories.Hesia was crouched at the end of a dead end hall that curved around into a circle.Obi-wan's best guess was that the space was meant for meditating.Still, it reminded him how much he hated the temple's architecture.Well, architecture in general, really.

"Hesia?"

She wiped her eyes quickly and dropped her knees so she was sitting cross legged."Oh, hey Obi-wan.What's up?Did you need help with something?"

He sat down next to her, slowly."No.Just came to see if you were okay."

"Thanks.I'm fine."

He nodded."If I were you, I wouldn't be."

"Wh-what?"

"It really was awful," he mused."I wonder why Master Yoda would put up something like that."

She tried to laugh at him."You don't mean about the silly scoreboard, do you?"

He nodded."Do you see why we wanted to take it down?"

She burst out sobbing.Obi-wan wasn’t sure how to comfort her, but he felt he should try.

Eventually, Hesia's sobs died down."Sorry, I shouldn't be upset about something so small.I should congratulate you."She stuck out her hand to shake, her other hand still wiping tears from her eyes.

Obi-wan didn't take it."It's alright.As I said before, it's understandable."

She sniffled."You know, it's funny.We grew up in the same crèche, and we've known each other for almost ten years, but I feel like I hardly know you."

He wanted to say that no one really knew him, but figured that was a little dark for the situation."Yes, it is funny.I guess we're just different kinds of people."

She nodded."I wish I knew a lot of people better.It's just, if you talk to everyone, then you're sort of one of them.I always wanted to stick out."

"I see."

"But instead I just ended up being a snob."She started crying again."And now I'm not even good at that."

Obi-wan waited for her to finish again."Okay, calm down.I'll be honest, you have always acted like a bit of a snob."

She sniffled."I know.I'm a horrible person.I just want to be a good Jedi, but I can't because I'm a horrible person."

"Then change who you are."

She looked surprised.

"Just half a year ago, I was the worst prankster in the order.Now I'm apparently a top student.If I can change, you can change."

She sniffed."Maybe.Obi-wan?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you take the secondaries last year?I mean, most people don’t even try until they’re fifteen."

"I-" this was a time he usually would lie.But what good would that do now?"I was behind.I though learning with a master, one on one, I could catch up."

"Oh."Her voice broke, and more tears poured out."That’s a good reason."

"Mh.Why did you want to pass early?"

"I guess I thought, if I was a padawan, I could find a friend."

"But you have friends, you have Pauli and Alana."

"And you have Prie and Jape."

"It's not the same."

"Isn't it?"

Did Hesia not have a best friend either?Obi-wan hadn't pinned her as a loner, but he also hadn't pinned her as the type to cry in a corner.He made a mental note not to ever rule out any possibilities about anyone, or to assume anything he didn't have evidence for.Maybe such resolutions were a bit extreme for the situation, but they had to be made at some point.

"Let's get back to the crèche," he offered.Hesia nodded and wiped her eyes one last time, then added, "if you want to mess with the scoreboard, I won't tell."

He nodded his thanks, and they were on their way.

The next day, the scoreboard had mysteriously disappeared.The day after that it was replaced, and the day after it vanished again.Eventually, Master Yoda gave up.

Obi-wan set his plate down and sat.Prie and Jape nodded their greeting, and continued with their conversation.

"I'm just glad we get a week off," Jape said."I'm exhausted."

Prie turned to Obi-wan."Any idea what classes we're taking next term?"

He nodded, and spoke carefully."I think we're taking a few more science classes, and maybe a language."

Jape scowled."What's wrong with your voice?"

He had been talking weird, weirder than usual."I'm dropping my accent.There's only half a year left till secondaries, and I don't want my master to know I was late to the order.Not right away."

Prie and Jape nodded, but didn't reply. It made sense for Obi-wan to drop his accent.Masters might be more likely to choose him.But it was awkward for the two of them.Generally, it was considered rude to bring up a Jedi's accent.Obi-wan had brought it up, though, so all they could do was nod quietly.

As the weeks went on, Obi-wan's accent faded to nothing.He still used his natural one when he talked to himself, of course.But everywhere else, it slowly disappeared.As it did, he noticed changes.His masters called on him in class more often.The other younglings listened to him.Had he realized dropping your accent was what it took to fit in, Obi-wan would have done it long ago.

It also made him realize how much he missed the sound of his own voice.He missed youngling Obi-wan a little.Padawan-bound Obi-wan was boring.He didn't play pranks, he just read.Boring.But padawan-bound Obi-wan was mature, even if more insecure.Maybe padawan Obi-wan would find a balance.

Until then, Obi-wan would continue to ace his classes.He had been right: they were taking general mammal biology, gravitational physics, linguistics, and continuation of flight class.The science ones were interesting enough.Obi-wan partnered with Prie and Jape in the lab, and basically pulled the weight of the whole group.In both classes.It wasn't that they didn't know or weren't smart.They just only wanted to do what was needed to pass, while Obi-wan now wanted to press ahead.Though, Jape seemed to really like gravitational physics and was starting to do better.

The class Obi-wan loved most was flying.The last course had been mostly the basics, and twists and turns and such.This course was much more in depth and covered more of the mechanics and science.Obi-wan loved the technical aspect.He couldn't wait to get in a real cockpit.That was the other reason he'd wanted Master Plo's class, because he took his students on a field trip.

The class he hated most was linguistics.It wasn't a real language class, it was just a class about languages.Obi-wan hated to think of a circumstance where he might need to learn more than one new language.

He got top marks in all four classes anyway.By the end of the term, his accent was gone.Secondary trials were eight weeks away.And he was not about to fail twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel it is important to note that Obi-wan is not emotionally healthy here, and that skipping sleep is a terrible solution to any problem. Please don’t try it.


	4. Coming together

Eight weeks was not enough time to master Soresu, but Obi-wan thought he could get a basic grip.Showing off a few moves from the ultimate defensive form wouldn't hurt him during secondaries, and later while dueling in front of masters.And there was something about the form three sequences that just called to him.

Alone in the training room, he made his way through a beginning sequence.Unlike the form one beginning sequences, this one was quite difficult, more so than the advanced form ones his peers were practicing.Obi-wan had intended to wait and learn the forms from his master, but that plan wouldn't do if he couldn't _get_ a master.

He checked the holocron again.The next move he needed to learn was an over the head parry.He'd meant to save that one for later, but trials were now only two weeks away.

Just as he was lifting his lightsaber around his head, Prie and Jape came in.

"Hey Obi-wan!”Prie said cheerfully.Then she scowled."What are you doing?"

Obi-wan kept practicing as he talked."I'm practicing some form three moves.I thought it might help me in secondaries."

Jape scoffed."You're trying to learn Soresu?That's the hardest form, you'll never get it."

Obi-wan lowered his blade."I might if I practice."

Prie shook her head."Jape's right.You're smart, but form three is something else.I just doubt you're powerful enough to master it."

Obi-wan nodded slowly.Maybe she was right.Soresu took a lot of mental strength, and that was just something he didn't have."I'll think of something else to help me in secondaries."

"Oh, you're still on about that?"Jape moaned."Relax, just take it when you're old enough."

"No," he argued, "I'm going to try again."

"You failed last time," Jape reminded him."Why won't you fail again?"

Now Obi-wan was mad.Cooly, he replied, "because I spend my nights studying instead of sneaking out to see Eila."

Prie whipped her head around.Jape's face went pink.Obi-wan took this as his cue to leave.

Obi-wan passed his secondary trials with flying colors.Now all that was left to do was to impress a master.

Dooku walked calmly down to the initiate area.Master Yoda had an initiate he thought Dooku would approve of, but the Jedi Master wanted to see this Obi-wan Kenobi for himself before making any commitments.

If the boy was everything Dooku looked for in an apprentice, he still wasn’t sure he would take him.Rael had advised his master to make a change, but Dooku wasn’t sure this was the kind of change he wanted.He stepped out onto the viewing platform beside Yoda.Below, two initiates were engaged in a practice duel.Master Yoda simply pointed to the young one with red hair, who kept his elbows high.Interesting.

Reaching out with his senses, Dooku noticed a lot of anger in the boy.He was impatient, imbalanced, possibly volatile.But then again, many youths were.Dooku himself certainly had been.

He didn't find what he was looking for.What Yoda saw in this boy, it wasn't natural talent as Dooku had hoped.This child probably just studied hard.That was all well, but without natural talent you could only go so far.This boy could never go where Dooku wanted.He just wasn't strong enough for that.Dooku strongly doubted this child would be of any significance.

"What think you?"Yoda gazed up at Dooku's stern face.

"He is impressive, yes, but perhaps not the student for me.Qui-gon is looking for an apprentice.Perhaps he will find Obi-wan suitable."

Yoda nodded, and Dooku left feeling some disappointment.At least he wasn’t left to decide, though.Letting a powerful student pass would have been much more challenging.

Qui-gon glanced over at Ky, who he had sat through the initiate duels with."What do you think, my friend?"

Below them, two dozen initiates huddled together.Now that the duels were through, masters would begin to pick them.The two knights needed to choose quickly if they wanted one at all.

Ky shrugged."Not really feeling any of them, if you know what I mean."

Qui-gon nodded.He wasn't quite feeling any of them either.Still, bonds could be formed, and he wasn't sure he wanted to wait another year to take a padawan.

Master Yoda came up to the platform."Ky, take one will you?"

Ky sighed."Not this time.You know, this has been fun was always but I better get back to work.I’m leaving on a big assignment soon.”

He bowed and left.Qui-gon shook his head in amusement."He watches every year, but never picks one.I don’t think he’ll ever take an apprentice."

Yoda chuckled."What think you, Qui-gon?"

Qui-gon folded his arms."I'm not sure.It's a tough choice."

Yoda pointed with his walking stick."Obi-wan Kenobi, you want."

Qui-gon looked down at the initiate in the back.He was certainly not the best present, but that was fair to say since he was younger than most of the others.If Yoda pointed him out, then he must have a lot of potential.None ofthe other masters seemed to have seen that, because Qui-gon didn’t see a single one taking an interest in the boy.The other padawans, though, were being chosen quickly.Qui-gon would have to move fast if he wanted one.Luckily, it was the one left over that had caught his eye.

"If that is your recommendation, Master, then I will take it."

Yoda nodded.

Obi-wan held very still.It didn't matter; the droid cut his hair unevenly anyway.He quickly twisted it into a padawan braid, though with some difficulty.Then he was off to meet Master Qui-gon Jinn.

He was nervous.Maybe it was understandable, since he had never heard of Master Jinn, much less met him.Now they were expected to spend the next ten to fifteen years together.Obi-wan really hoped they got along.

He met Qui-gon in the library, as he had been instructed to do.Obi-wan spotted him after only a quick glance around.Qui-gon was huge!There was no way Obi-wan was more than two-thirds his size.

"Excuse me, Master?"He approached timidly.

Qui-gon looked down."Ah, hello, padawan.You are Obi-wan Kenobi?"

"Yes, Master."

“Wonderful.Come, I have some tasks for you."

Qui-gon led him to a table in the back and sat down.Obi-wan sat across from him.

"Here, read through these."

Obi-wan looked at the papers he was handed."What is this, Master?Is this legislation?"He tripped over the word in his fake accent.

Qui-gon nodded."The Senate passed it this morning.I've already read it, and I'd like you to read it so we can compare thoughts."

The padawan flipped through the pages.It looked far beyond his reading and political literacy levels."Master, I'm not sure I'll be able to understand this."

Qui-gon looked extremely disappointed, which Obi-wan didn't like.He decided not to make his master disappointed again.

"I'm sure I'll work through it," he promised.

Qui-gon nodded again."Very good, padawan."

Qui-gon strolled through the temple just a pace behind Dooku.

"Master, I've taken an apprentice."

Dooku made no expression."Very good.Tell me about this padawan of yours."

What was there to say about Obi-wan?Nothing particularly exciting, but Qui-gon would try."He is quite bright. Very smart, very wise for his age. I think he has a lot of potential as an intellectual."

Now Dooku made a face, an expression Qui-gon had never quite worked the meaning from."And as a negotiator?Or an investigator?"

"Yet to be seen, Master.Though, he is already decently proficient with his blade.For his age.Perhaps we will have another Rael."

"Perhaps.And perhaps not.What is his name, my apprentice?"

"Obi-wan.Obi-wan Kenobi."

Obi-wan struggled through the paper.It was terribly dull, and didn't seem to make any sense.He just couldn't gather the main points, even after studying it for six hours.The last few hours of the night, he let himself sleep.It was strange sleeping in individual quarters, but Obi-wan did like having the lights on as late as he wanted.

The next morning, Obi-wan opened his eyes and shut them again.It didn't help.The lights flickered on and off as Qui-gon fluttered the switch.

"Good morning, Padawan.Get out of bed."

He complied.For the first time in his life- the part that mattered- Obi-wan didn't have a morning meditation.He told Qui-gon so once they were to the library.

"Master, I usually meditate before I start the day."

Qui-gon nodded."Many Jedi do.I don't.I prefer to start with reading, then work out, then meditate when I am fully awake.You will do the same."

Obi-wan tried not to let his shoulders slump.He'd hoped being a padawan would mean he got to do things more on his own schedule, but it seemed instead he would now just have to go along with whatever Qui-gon wanted to do.

"I assume you finished the reading?"

"Not quite, Master.I didn't really understand the subject.I was hoping you could explain it to me."

Qui-gon looked thoughtful, then began giving a detailed description of the the piece and all its components.Obi-wan had expected him to be disappointed again. Maybe Qui-gon liked explaining things?

"Obi-wan!"

When he heard his name, the padawan turned around to see his two former friends bounding down the hallway.

"Obi-wan, congratulations!"Jape stopped just short of tackling him."We heard you got a master."

Obi-wan hesitated.They had really hurt his feelings the last time they spoke.But then again, what was one more wound?And what was the sense in holding on to anger?

"Yes, I have.You have heard of Qui-gon Jinn?"

"No," Prie admitted, "who is he?"

Obi-wan shrugged."He does investigations and stuff.A lot of high-risk negotiations, I think.Lots of study in politics, history, the like."

They nodded excitedly."What have you done so far?"Prie asked.

Obi-wan didn't want to admit that they'd done nothing but read."We're just getting started, haven't really got into lessons yet."

Jape bounced a little as he asked."What's he like?"

Obi-wan shrugged."Wise, powerful.He's a great Jedi.He does tend to be a bit cryptic, but he knows a great deal about the Force."

They nodded enthusiastically.The three chatted a bit longer, then exchanged contact info so to stay in touch.Obi-wan wasn't sure he wanted to message them, but it was still good to have some semblance of friendship.

Qui-gon slapped the padawan course catalog on the library table as he sat across from Obi-wan.

"I've chosen some classes for you, next term.Would you like to see the descriptions?"

Obi-wan sat up."Master, I was hoping to speak to you about that.You see, I've rarely ever done well in my classes.I thought it might be more efficient if you were to teach me the material directly."

Qui-gon shook his head, and Obi-wan's heart sank."It is important for you to have some time away from me, and interaction with your peers.And I cannot teach you everything."

Obi-wan wanted to argue, but he wasn't quite comfortable enough with his new master.So he just agreed.

"I understand."

Obi-wan had only been with Qui-gon a month, and already he wished he hadn't wanted a master so soon.Qui-gon taught him, yes, but many of the things he had him do made him feel like an assistant.Obi-wan convinced himself it would get better once he adjusted to Qui-gon's way of doing things.

Presently, it was five in the morning and Obi-wan was still going over another reading, which had been assigned to him three days ago.The text was hand written and very confusing.Qui-gon had asked his apprentice to type it up so it would be easier to read.Obi-wan had tried putting it in the highly sophisticated and perfectly good program the Jedi had to do exactly this, but Qui-gon protested.He said he disapproved of those machines, and that Obi-wan's eye would be much more precise.

"That doesn't even look like basic," Obi-wan said to himself.He typed a bit, then read it back."Alright.The last known sighting of the beasts was Aremlou... or is it Aremlop?And will Qui-gon ever know?"

He smiled to himself, then typed and talked a bit more.Obi-wan talked to himself in his room, full volume and with his natural accent.It was kind of fun having something Qui-gon didn't know about; though, Qui-gon knew almost nothing about his student.He'd never bothered to find out.

Besides, Obi-wan thought, talking to himself was fun in and of itself.

Qui-gon hurried through the halls of the temple.He'd been delayed by some shocking news.His master, Dooku, had left the Jedi Order after inheriting the throne of Serreno.Qui-gon thought he would need the day off to meditate on the news.He at least needed to tell his apprentice of this first.

As Qui-gon approached Obi-wan's door, he heard someone speaking in a thick accent he didn't recognize.It took him a moment to recognize that it was Obi-wan's soft voice, coming from his room.Was he talking to someone in a fake accent?Qui-gon sensed no one else in there.He was speaking in a made up accent for himself.

But a youngling would probably never have heard a real accent before.There was no way Obi-wan could have heard enough to copy one, or even enough to make one up.This was his natural accent.The one he'd been speaking to his master in was the fake one.

Qui-gon tried to listen in, but the door muffled the already difficult to understand words.Finally, he decided to just see what this was all about.He opened the door a bit suddenly.

Obi-wan was lying on his bead, typing.

"And, it's Qui-gon," he muttered, then set down his datapad and switched to his regular- no, his fake accent."Good morning, Master."

Qui-gon folded his arms."Is there something you have been lying to me about?"

Obi-wan didn't freeze.He didn't pause, flinch, or hesitate.His only tell was the sudden uncertainty Qui-gon sensed."No?Why?"

"I heard you talking to yourself."

Obi-wan did his best to look confused, which was admittedly pretty good.It was enough to make Qui-gon doubt his accusations."I didn't realize talking to yourself was that unusual."

"No, Padawan.I heard your natural accent.Have you been lying to me about the way you speak?"

"No, no Master.That wasn't my natural accent.I was just using a fake.For fun, maybe for practice.Do you expect we'll do any undercover work?"

Qui-gon sighed.If Obi-wan was a liar, he was a good one."I don't believe you.A youngling would not have heard such an accent in enough detail to replicate it."

Obi-wan closed his mouth and slouched down a little.Qui-gon took a step further into the bare room.Obi-wan's space was perfectly clean, and it was because he apparently owned absolutely nothing except his neatly hung robes.

"Padawan, I expect you to tell me the truth."

Obi-wan nodded, and took back on his natural accent."I'm sorry, Master.I haven't been faking it just for you, if it's any consolation."

"It isn't. I hope you will not deceive me again."

The child nodded."I won’t.May I explain myself?"

“No.I know you were late to the order, and you are trying to hide it.As your master, I would have hoped you would make such a thing aware to me."

Obi-wan's mouth opened a little.Qui-gon had been thinking of Rael and his situation when he'd said it, but now he realized he'd broken a Jedi etiquette and likely hurt his student's feelings.

Obi-wan leaned back on his bed."Well I doubt your lessons will be any more instructive with that information in mind."

Now Qui-gon's feelings were hurt.It was a casual enough comment, but it could be taken to either mean that his late start didn't matter or that Qui-gon was a bad teacher.He suspected it was the latter cleverly disguised as the former.This padawan was certainly smart enough to do that.

The Jedi Knight did his best to shake it off."Well you won't need to worry about that today.I'm afraid I must take the day off to meditate.I’ve sent your work to your datapad."

He turned to sweep out.

"Why?"

Qui-gon turned back around."Because, Padawan, I have decided it is so.Do your work.You're already behind."

With that, he left.

Obi-wan stood up and kicked his bed.It hurt his foot.He sat down and picked up the datapad.Sure enough, Qui-gon had sent more readings, more assignments that were meant to take one day but instead took four.He clicked through them quickly, then set down the datapad and folded his hands in front of his face.

He had to get out of that room.

Obi-wan slipped down to a padawan training room that was usually empty.He pulled a punching bag and beat it to what surely would be death.Then he pulled out his lightsaber and ran through the sequences he knew.While he did, he thought.

If Qui-gon wanted to fight, that was fine.Obi-wan had a lot of witty insults and had already found some of the weaker points in Qui-gon's ego.Admittedly, Obi-wan shouldn't have lied to him.Apparently it was a bigger deal than he had thought.He had been right, though: Qui-gon wouldn't have taken him if he knew.Now it didn't matter.The council didn't let masters drop their students without very good reason.Surely this didn't count.

As much as Obi-wan hated his master, he didn't want to leave.And he didn't _really_ hate Qui-gon.He just hated the assignments and the way things were done.His master was kind, powerful, and very wise, certainly someone to look up to.Maybe Obi-wan could speak to him, and have a few things changed.

He sighed and put away his lightsaber, feeling much better.When he saw Qui-gon again, he would apologize and ask if he could do independent study and less busy reading.

First, there was something else Obi-wan needed to do, one last piece of childhood he needed to put into place.Obi-wan found the charred piece of cork right where he had left it.He carried it up to the gardens in his arms, and found his way to the jungle plot.Carefully, he dug a small hole in the corner of a bed and buried the block.With that done, he returned to his studies, certain that what light lay ahead for him would turn the darkness of his childhood to nothing but a shadow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! More is coming soon


End file.
